in 1974, Tobe Hooper brought the original movie, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. At the end of the film, the movie’s sole survivor Sally escapes in the back of a passing pickup truck as Leatherface maniacally flails his chainsaw in the air in anger and defeat. Little did anyone know, that little horror film would land in pop culture history and Leatherface would become one of the most popular characters in horror cinema. David Blue Garcia’s 9th entry to the franchise opts to retcon anything that came after the 1974 film.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre kicks things off with a recap of the original movie reintroducing the original survivor, Sally – the one survivor from the original film. We’re quickly introduced to a new crew of Millenial “Influencers”. Melody and her sister Lila who is a survivor of a school gun shooting spree, social media chef Dante, and his girlfriend Ruth have come to the sleepy ghost town of Harlow Texas in hopes of gentrifying the area and rebuilding this sleepy town. We learn, that Dante purchased the town in an auction from the bank and has plans to auction off the buildings to a party bus full of people who share in the dream of homeownership and building something special for themselves.

After noticing a Confederate flag flying on the town orphanage, Dante barges into the building to find his way to the flag to remove it. It’s here that we’re introduced to an elderly woman who tells Dante and Melody that this is her home. After a series of events, Leatherface is reactivated after a nearly 50-year retirement.

In general, I liked Texas Chainsaw Massacre for what it was. A mindless slasher film. What I found interesting was just how shallow even for a slasher film this script was. The main characters weren’t even remotely interesting. Sure we get a little backstory to Lila’s experience as a victim in a school shooting which I think was a half-hearted attempt at social commentary on gun control and ownership. I honestly didn’t care one iota if these people lived or died. In fact, I wanted them all to meet the business end of Leatherface’s Chainsaw. I didn’t even care about the Lorrie Strode-type reintroduction of Sally who, I might add takes an ass-kicking and still somehow is able to function which made me laugh.

My favorite moment from the movie that made me cheer and smile with glee was when Leatherface gets onto the party bus and instead of running, the clueless idiots all whip out their phones and start recording. Then 1 guy says “Try anything, you’re canceled, bro.” What ensues is a wonderfully gory mess of body parts, screams, and buckets of blood. Big props to the special effects team as their tireless work is without a doubt the brightest point of this movie.

If you’re looking for a smart witty “prequel” like Scream, you’re barking up the wrong tree. If you’re looking for a fun mindless slasher film filled with blood, gore, and a little nostalgia mixed in for good measure – you’re sure to enjoy yourself.

Kaneda